Standard Deviations From the Beaten Path

Some people will have you think that we atheists are out to fight a war against the most Christian of Christian holidays: Christmas. See that? Christ is right in the title. If we face the facts, though, it becomes obvious that one thing sitting at the very heart of the problem is that everyone has a solstice holiday. Many of these are described as a “festival of lights”. Proceeding with great sarcasm, there could not possibly be a common thread linking them, could there?

Before I continue I’ll let you know that I’m going to pull quotations from the King James Version unless otherwise specified. My motivation for doing so is because it is an available (if not always accessible) translation, and is also popular enough that many people will have some familiarity with it. If you’re one of the odd ones like me who doesn’t have a pulp copy of a translation you prefer, there are others available on the web. I know of NET Bible, and will use it when a different perspective is necessary.

Christmas Trees — Well as it turns out a religious rite practiced in the bible is quite similar to what we now call the Christmas tree. It was a pagan thing and in Jeremiah 10:2-5 God tells the Israelites not to do it:

Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.

For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of a forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.

They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.

They are upright as the palm tree, but speak not: they must needs be
borne, because they cannot go. Be not afraid of them; for they cannot do
evil, neither also is it in them to do good.

So there you have it. Don’t be afraid of decorated trees used in a religious way, but they won’t save you, either (kind of like the supposed narrator, actually). Alright, so if one mention is insufficient for the idea to gain traction, I’ll also point you toward Isaiah 40:19-20, and 44:14-16 in which we are warned further of graven images in the form of trees and other worshipful acts associated with these.

The Birth of Jesus 1: Was it Prophesied in Isaiah?– So Christmas trees aren’t faring too well. How about looking at the birth of Jesus? While we’re open to Isaiah, let’s look at 7:14. I’ll take this passage from the NET Bible:

For this reason the sovereign master himself will give you a confirming sign. Look, this young woman is about to conceive and will give birth to a son. You, young woman, will name him Immanuel.

The KJV renders the phrase “young woman” as “virgin”. The other important thing to note is that the woman in question was alive at the time of the events described in Isaiah 7, so this prophecy was to have a more immediate outcome than the birth of Jesus. What’s the relevance, then? Well, look at Matthew 1:22-23

Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying,

Behold a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.

This, again, is from the KJV. I am unsure when or how this reference to the previous prophecy in Isaiah came to be here, but it makes the connection obvious by saying the child shall be called Emmanuel. This in the last time Jesus was referred to by this name anywhere in the bible. And if we go back up to the beginning of chapter 1, we see a genealogy ostensibly to demonstrate that Jesus was born of the line of David, except the line is patrilineal and we are next told that Joseph was not the father as Mary was impregnated by the holy spirit.

At the very least, I hope I’ve demonstrated that the whole scenario is far more mucked up than the popular culture version, and at the very least deserves a little bit further scrutiny before boldly declaring Prophecy fulfilled, hallelujah! and getting hostile towards those who frankly don’t even do as good a job of getting in the way of Christmas than the very bible itself.

The Birth of Jesus 2: What about Bethlehem? – Indeed, I could go on about countless details about the birth of Jesus like did the event take place in Bethlehem of Judaea? This was supposedly prophesied in the book of Micah:

But thou, Bethlehem
Ephratah, though thou be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of
thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings
forth have been from of old, from everlasting.

This is talking about a group of people, not a place. If you’re not convinced, see Micah 5:2 on NET Bible with the same verse in other translations to see that language is consistent. NET Bible’s own notations seem to completely sidestep this, and say that it must clearly refer to the place where they lived. I’d venture as far as to say that this is a case of the cart leading the oxen.

There is some context in Micah 5:6 where it says the person prophesied

And they shall waste the
land of Assyria with the sword, and the land of Nimrod in the entrances
thereof: thus shall he deliver us from the Assyrian, when he cometh into our
land, and when he treadeth within our borders.

Which more or less says that this new king would conquer Assyria. I’m fairly confident that there was no mention of that anywhere in the gospels. So like the prophecy in Isaiah, this one almost certainly was not referring to Jesus, but to a king that was supposed to have come from a clan or family called Bethlehem Ephratah and save Israel from the threat of Assyria.

The Birth of Jesus 3: Taxes, Travels, and Mangers — One last note of more casual interest. Nobody really knows when Jesus was born. This December 25th thing is almost certainly an issue of feeling left out of the party when all the pagans are having solstice parties. But if we’re going to believe Luke’s account (Luke 2:1-7)

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.

And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

This is by far the “most Christmasy” account of Jesus birth. One argument goes that it would be a major dick move to have people travel like that in the middle of the winter. While politicians (kings, included, I suppose) aren’t usually shy about making dick moves, I’d imagine you’d like your census to not kill off too much of your population. So December would not be so likely. And if you’re going to tell me that it’s nice there that time of year, please pull out an actual map and note that the area north of Egypt is both on the same side and not remarkably close to the equator compared to us.

But hope is not lost! Sort of! Because we can also go to Matthew’s account (Matthew 2:1-2,11,22-23), in which there was no census or tax and that say Mary and Joseph already lived in Bethlehem and only moved to Nazareth later (after staying in Egypt). In this account, Jesus was born in a house. I guess there’s less call for complain about the December thing, but if you want an enemy of Christmas, still, I suggest you pick up your pitchfork and go after this Matthew guy. No dramatic trip to Bethlehem from Nazareth and no manger. So how about you let me greet people however I’d like to this month and go rip out chapter 2 of Matthew from every bible you can get your hands on?

Let me know how that goes!

Tags: bible, critique

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 17th, 2009 at 5:08 pm and is filed under Religion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.